Check list

Locate important papers like birth certificate, passports, social security cards.

Each child will need his/her bag with clothing, medications, and beloved toy.

You are not going to be able to take everything.

What are your must haves that will make your new place feel like your home? For example, grandma’s set of baking tins or your dad’s framed military picture.

What are you ‘okay’ with never seeing again? Leave that, especially things that remind you of the ex.

Let the school know if there is a divorced filed and a temporary custody order in place.

Ask the child’s school if they have regular therapists who visit the school.

Read books together about divorce and the grieving process.

Your children will feel this divorce in both good and bad ways. More on that later.

Who’s name is on what title? If you are leaving the home, is your name on the title? If you are changing the locks, is the soon-to-be ex on the title? Has the divorce been filed and if so what does it say about the temporary living situation? Is there a legal way to keep a spouse out of his/her house?

Well-meaning friends who know you will try to give you advice. While the divorce is pending, anything can and will be used against you. Even after the divorce, if you have custody, anything you say or do can and will be used against you. See the moving on page.