Self-Help Pages in Every State

I started my attorney life in New York. Every state has a self-help page to answer basic questions about the process. Here is the link to NY

https://www.nycourts.gov/courthelp/ and here is CA

https://selfhelp.courts.ca.gov/divorce-california

and also a place to start in TN

https://tncourts.gov/programs/self-help-center because you always have the right to represent yourself.

Now that might not be wise but it can and has worked for thousands of couples. In California, where the case law and statutes are complicated and marital property disputes can confuse even a seasoned attorney, check out the self-help, but then invest in a consultation with an experienced family law attorney. I had a few amazing friends with great accountants who would work hard to find hidden assets. The legal bills can get crazy but depending on the circumstances you can ask for the other side to pay your legal bills if they are at fault for the divorce.

Tennessee has a completely different case history. Judges and lawyers will sometimes deal with multi-million dollar assets; however, the more common scenario is a couple who own nothing but debt. I have seen many couples decide not to divorce because they did not want to disrupt their children’s senior year of high school. Again, there are going to be many factors to consider. I have had mothers try to get custody back because they hated the idea of having to pay child support to their ex-husband. So hopefully you have a good support system to call you out if you start to behave irrationally and forget to put the kids’ welfare first.

It is always a good idea to consult an attorney. Some attorneys will do a free consultation and some charge. Many will want a retainer of thousands of dollars to start a divorce case. No two cases are the same and then when you combine in the personality of the judge, prior relationships they have had with the attorneys hired in the case, how the judge views mediation, how the judge views abuse and if the judge is educated on what gaslighting is and how emotional abuse wears a person down. I had a male attorney tell me in 2021 that there was no abuse because the woman was never hit by her husband. He had taken her money, her passport, social security card, verbally abused her, harassed her at work, and threatened her dogs. I considered that sufficient for grounds of abuse but some uneducated people do not.